The limitations of your comfort zone

I spent some time recently with an amazing woman who shared what she knows to be a false belief, “I have to do it all myself.” My response surprised her. I asked her to define, “it.” She was surprised to realize that “it” is absolutely everything in her life – personally and professionally. She has […]

Put away your claws and let go

“Let go. I got you” That’s what I know my Higher Power is saying to me on a regular basis. I picture it like a dad reassuring a little boy who can’t get down from the tree he was so sure he wanted to climb. “Just jump. I’ll catch you.” Leaps of faith are scary, […]

The most important things I say as a therapist

The intervention I use most often as a therapist is to simply look at a person who is trying very hard not to allow their feelings to surface and say, “Just breathe.” I help my clients unlearn habits we developed as children: When control is taken away from us, when fears run high, when it’s […]

How to not care what people think         

Recovery Rocks

As a therapist, I often hear variations of, “I just want to get to a place where I don’t care what people think of me.” My response is typically, “It’s not about what they think. It’s about what you know.” We’re insecure, so we cover up. We hide our faults and fears and feelings because […]

10 Tips for getting out of you own way in recovery

Recovery Rocks

Practice “mindfulness.” It’s really just a nice word for, “F’ing pay attention to yourself.” It’s a lot easier to deal with wants, needs, and feelings when you know what they actually are. Stop being “terminally unique.” Everyone has a right to their opinion. Projecting your view of self and deciding the rest of us feel […]

A letter from your Higher Power

Recovery Rocks

Spiritual growth is the key to overcoming terrible things. It’s daunting and it’s messy. Unlike established religions or philosophies, spirituality has no rules or imposed structure. It gives one the opportunity to practice eclecticism: gather things that work for you, and develop your own beliefs, rituals, and practices. It’s the ultimate example of, “Take what […]