Creating Connections

I’ve learned that the very best way to get people to understand me (hear me not just listen) is to first prove to them that I get what they’re saying, what they’re feeling/wanting/needing. The same approach works with making your dreams come true. Take an interest in the dreams of others. Be of service to them. Do this without expectation but know that in the very best ways, karma will promote your success. To be of service (honor) to positive people is to grow spiritually.

I’m amazed by my religious friends who tell me that God has a plan or a purpose for them. They always speak of it in singular ways. My HP has a plan for me each and every day and the success of today depends largely upon my willingness to accept the plan and carry it out.

I strive to maintain a conscious connection to my HP because the quality of my life depends entirely upon it.  He/She/It wants me to be connected to very good people. To some I give, to some I receive, and in most cases it’s both. Perhaps I am a very needy person. Not only do I need my friends and family – I need every single person that my HP puts in front of me. To receive requires Vulnerability and this too is spiritual. This constant give and take gives my life purpose.

When I serve people who are depressed they generally lack a sense of purpose. They are without meaningful connections. In the most extreme cases they’ll tell me, “I lie in bed and try to think of a reason to get up.” This is why I love Resilience. I tell them, “Get the hell up!” Laying there is like quicksand – the longer you stay in it, the harder it is to get out. I offer them a sure fire way to get better. Go help somebody who really needs it. The world is full of people who are up to their ass in alligators. It’s impossible to feel bad while giving of oneself.

“When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. It is not enough to just say relationships are important; we must prove it by investing time in them.”-  Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

We know to invest in good friends and family, though at times we still take them for granted. What we miss out on is the opportunity to invest in perfect strangers, chance meetings, and random encounters. Closer to home we fail to invest in coworkers, colleagues, and neighbors. It would never occur to us to really get to know and appreciate our competitors or those whose views oppose ours. My life is made richer by all of these and still I miss out whenever I am preoccupied, fearful, or feeling sorry for myself. When I am at my best I am completely in the moment. It’s me and my HP and no safety net cuz I don’t need one (they’re usually just illusions anyway).

My friends in Recovery have taught me to be patient and tolerant. I strive to improve at this. I find most people terribly boring because they are doing what they believe they are “supposed” to do instead of doing what they Choose to do. I prefer the company of people who have the guts to strive, the resilience to get back up and try again, and the willingness to serve others.

I can’t think of anything more fun than making the dreams of those I love come true. Currently I have the honor of serving three family businesses that are just starting to get off the ground: a fitness & life coach, a chef & catering company, and a contractor/renovations/restoration specialist. All of these people and their families are genuinely good people who make our communities better. Why would I have time for unfulfilling pursuits?

Make some connections. Dare to dream. If you honestly have no idea what you want…go out and help someone. You don’t need a once and for all purpose – just one for today.

Jim LaPierre

About Jim LaPierre

Jim LaPierre LCSW CCS is a Recovery Ally, mental health therapist and addictions counselor. He specializes in assisting people in recovery (whether from drugs, alcohol, trauma, depression, anxiety, or past abuse) overcome obstacles and improve their quality of life.