The #@&!!& Things We do for Love

I’m spending my weekend in a cabin at Shin Pond. This would only seem remarkable if you know me personally. Those who do are laughing to hear this news because they understand that I have strong affinity for the great INdoors.

I have nothing against Aroostook County (truly great people) or against those who inexplicably enjoy nature. I prefer climate control, lots of electronics, and the absence of bugs. There is exactly one thing that could bring me to Patten, Maine and it is the wedding of two people that I happen to adore, despite their choice of wedding venues.

And there it is again! Lately, I’ve been catching myself being a bit of a curmudgeon. My wife laughs to hear me say this. She thinks it’s adorable that I see this as new. I’m realizing that I tend to grumble when I want kudos and atta boys for doing the next right thing. I see that behavior as understandable in others but I’m less than enthused to find it in myself.

I do not think about the benefits of going above and beyond for others. I do them without consideration because I care and because it’s what I expect of me. Yet invariably, something very cool and unexpected will occur this weekend because I showed up for the people I love. Before we leave, I’ll likely have made a new friend or at least have a funny story to tell.

I also get to marry the happy couple. That’s not only an honor, it’s a completely unplanned bit of joy that occurs because years ago other close friends asked me to become a notary public so that I could marry them. I see this as one of countless bits of proof that my plans are never as great as I believe them to be. At no point in my lifetime had I considered becoming a notary.

I know that I want my life to be an adventure and I know that I crave connection with wonderfully fucked up people like myself. What I manage to forget on occasion is that I can make neither of those occur. My life is rich because my Higher Power is endlessly patient and generous.

I know that even when I’m at my best, my HP is saying, “If you could just manage to chill out and let go of this thing that you think you want, you’ll see that what I’m trying to put into your life is far greater. And so it is. Ok, I’m off to marry the happy couple. I just wish the sun wasn’t shining so brightly off that stupid pond.

Jim LaPierre

About Jim LaPierre

Jim LaPierre LCSW CCS is the Executive Director of Higher Ground Services in Brewer, Maine. He is a Recovery Ally, mental health therapist and addictions counselor. He specializes in facilitating recovery (whether from addiction, trauma, depression, anxiety, or past abuse) overcome obstacles, and improve their quality of life. Jim offers a limited amount of online therapy to those with very flexible schedules.