When your Valentine wants to kill you

One of the many  joys of being with someone as long as my wife and I have, is the ease and comfort that comes from decades of sharing everything with your best friend. Cards and flowers become more of a reminder than an obligation and it doesn’t really matter if it’s on the holiday or just because.

We celebrated Valentines Day last weekend at the best restaurant in Maine (Fiddleheads) (go there and thank me later).

Today my Valentine showed her love for me by not killing me (which, I must admit no reasonable jury in the world would ever convict her for doing). Paperwork, new regulations, business details and lots of other things I kinda suck at all landed on her desk this afternoon. She explained that her Valentine’s present to me was not kicking me.

You have to know her to get why that’s such an expression of love. She’s the opposite of a Justin Bieber lyric, “My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone.” My wife is very discriminating about who she likes. She enjoys dogs far more than she does people. If you’re fortunate enough to be loved by her, she’ll bury a body for you with no questions asked. If you make her angry, you’ll know it before a word is spoken. Today she wants to kill me, but she doesn’t cuz she loves me.

See, for a lot of years, she had her career and I had mine. She had a few of her friends and I had a few of mine. We had lives separately and together. That all changed when I decided to start my own business. (Someday I will write a book on how NOT to do that).

One of the reasons I’ve been successful in life and in business is because I never let the fact that I have no idea what I’m doing stop me. I have faith that my Higher Power will provide everything I need.

I am occasionally reminded that it may be God’s grace that gets me through the insanity I put myself in, but it’s my wife’s sweat and love for me that really makes it all work. The simple truth is that I’d have bankrupted us a dozen times over if not for her. See, there’s nothing about being good at something that translates into being good at running a business.  I dove in the deep end and when it seemed I couldn’t tread water anymore, she came to my rescue and never left.

She is the reason I’m free to do all the cool stuff I do.

She is the opposite of me in so many ways and that’s exactly why it works. On our good days we compliment each other perfectly. On other days, she marvels at just what the hell I could possibly be thinking. I’m a dreamer with a love for understanding and supporting people who are F’ed up like me. She’s an accountant who finds more solace in Excel spreadsheets than people.  She reminds me that her world is very clear, “Two plus two is always four.”

Thirty years together and it’s an adventure everyday. I console her occasionally that at least she’s never bored 🙂

Jim LaPierre

About Jim LaPierre

Jim LaPierre LCSW CCS is the Executive Director of Higher Ground Services in Brewer, Maine. He is a Recovery Ally, mental health therapist and addictions counselor. He specializes in facilitating recovery (whether from addiction, trauma, depression, anxiety, or past abuse) overcome obstacles, and improve their quality of life. Jim offers a limited amount of online therapy to those with very flexible schedules.