Life Hack: How to get out of your own way

Step one: Stop trying to “figure it out” and try being brutally honest with yourself

Step two: Eliminate rhetorical questions. Like, “What am I supposed to do?”

Step three: To hell with what you’re supposed to do. What do you need to do?

Step four: Stop trying to change your life alone – nobody ever really does that.

Step five: Run that shit past someone else. If you don’t have someone hire a counselor

Step six: Ask those who can support you to be really real with you. Impress this upon them as your need.

Step seven: Make a realistic and very specific plan for the short term,

Step seven: Share the plan with people who can hold you accountable for it.

Step eight: Work on that shit every single day.

Step nine: Seek out those on similar journeys. Change should be like Cross Fit (real support/similar goals)

Step ten: Make those people your chosen family

Life is not the terribly complex thing you believe it is. It’s actually very simple: Learn the hard lessons and life gets better. (There will always be another lesson).

Learning experiences only suck while you’re going through them. Accept that and you’ll come to anticipate the freedom and relief that inevitably arrive on the other side of acceptance.

“The best thing I ever did was let go.” – Eyedeas & Abilities

The lesson most of us need to learn is: How to let go of pain, anger, shame, the past, and everything else that weighs us down and limits what’s possible in our lives.Here’s how you do that:

  • Pay attention to you
  • Notice what you’re really feeling
  • Stop judging it. Stop telling yourself you shouldn’t feel this way, see it this way, be this way
  • Accept that at least right now that’s how it is
  • You can’t change it until you accept it
  • Allow yourself to experience it
  • Express it (speak it, write it, draw it, scream it, sing it)
  • Share it with people who care
  • Release it – bit by bit.
  • Be a friend to you.
  • Judge yourself as you do others
  • Forgive yourself in exactly the same way you do others
  • Get better, do better, be better.

Jim LaPierre

About Jim LaPierre

Jim LaPierre LCSW CCS is the Executive Director of Higher Ground Services in Brewer, Maine. He is a Recovery Ally, mental health therapist and addictions counselor. He specializes in facilitating recovery (whether from addiction, trauma, depression, anxiety, or past abuse) overcome obstacles, and improve their quality of life. Jim offers a limited amount of online therapy to those with very flexible schedules.