Is it ok to hate perpetrators?

To those who abuse, assault,
and otherwise, harm
for personal gain or pleasure,

I’m thinking about you today
because I am tired.

It’s a good kind of tired.
I’ve been busy
serving your children,
your former partners,
those you bullied.
Helping them fix themselves and grieve
I’ve been doing it for a long time.

This is not self-pity, nor the whining
of a burned-out social worker.
This is simply reflection
As evidenced by simple truth:
Anyone I might be describing
is assuredly not reading this.

Because, why would you?
People like me seek
accountability and reparations
from people like you.
But people like you
are consistent.
You never come through.

I used to be unspeakably angry with you.
I stopped that because
it was a barrier to serving
people like me
who survived.

I learned how to let go
And yet every day, there’s more
to release.

Choosing to forgive our abusers
Is not about helping them feel better
Nor does it mean that we’re saying it’s ok.
Forgiveness can be selfish and
It is how we become progressively free
of what they instilled and made us believe.

It’s ok to hate
But do it fully
and passionately
Rage destroys
those who carry it

Let go.
Let go.
Let go.

I promise:
You won’t miss it when it’s gone.

Jim LaPierre

About Jim LaPierre

Jim LaPierre LCSW CCS is the Executive Director of Higher Ground Services in Brewer, Maine. He is a Recovery Ally, mental health therapist and addictions counselor. He specializes in facilitating recovery (whether from addiction, trauma, depression, anxiety, or past abuse) overcome obstacles, and improve their quality of life. Jim is the cofounder of an online addiction recovery program that is affordable and provides complete anonymity