Top 10 relational mistakes in recovery

1. We’re not Rapunzel. If you’re waiting to be rescued by Prince or Princess Charming then it’s time to come to terms with a simple fact: You can have lots of support and guidance from people you’re not romantically involved with but ultimately, the only person who can save you is you. It’s your job, your responsibility, and

2. “Happily ever after” is a myth. We all know this and yet we fall into the damned trap anyway.

3. Sex is not love.

4. The false promise of a relationship is a lousy way to request sex. While we advise against new partnerships in early recovery, consensual sex is fulfillment of a basic need. Just be honest about it.

5. Setting limits and boundaries are vital relational skills. Get some practice with setting them BEFORE starting a new partnership.

6. There are countless ways to express love. Take stock of how many you know and feel comfortable doing before your next partnership.

7. Vulnerability is the key ingredient to intimacy – the type of love we all want.

8. It also simplifies: We can reduce miscommunication and conflicts when we are open and honest with each other. We tend to be uncomfortable with vulnerability

9. Dating sites are a lousy way to meet people. Get out and socialize.

10. Healthy partners want us to be ourselves. In order to do that, we have to have an identity and have a decent understanding of ourselves.

Jim LaPierre

About Jim LaPierre

Jim LaPierre LCSW CCS is the Executive Director of Higher Ground Services in Brewer, Maine. He is a Recovery Ally, mental health therapist and addictions counselor. He specializes in facilitating recovery (whether from addiction, trauma, depression, anxiety, or past abuse) overcome obstacles, and improve their quality of life. Jim is the cofounder of Sobernow.com an online addiction recovery program that is affordable and provides complete anonymity