Becoming More Comfortable with Self

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make in relationships of every kind is trying to get more comfortable with others and not with themselves. To do this is to place loyalty to others above being true to oneself. Worse, it leaves us stressed and reactive to every new person and situation. I’ve spent […]

The Hardest Person to Forgive

…Is most often ourselves. When you grow up scared, everything you learn about self control is likely to be unhealthy. Without ever realizing it, we learned to hold our breath, and to stuff our feelings. We learned to monitor our environments and the people in them. We are the very best chameleons. Our safety depended […]

Dealing with The Inner Critic

Most everyone I’ve ever worked with has shared with me some variation of, “I’m very hard on myself.” At face value this sounds like a person with high standards and important goals. Dig a little deeper and what we usually find is an unfairly judgmental and rejecting inner critic for whom very little is acceptable. […]

One Woman’s Journey Out of Food Addiction

Addiction in a nutshell: The emptiness demands to be filled. Insatiable longing meets instant gratification. Indulgence. Regret. Shame. Repeat. While every journey out of hell is unique, to a certain extent, addiction is addiction is addiction. We move away from the substance that’s killing us and develop healthier lives. There is one notable exception. It’s […]

Did I Just Say that Out Loud?

My friend Karen Foley (and you should read everything she writes including her grocery lists) accurately described me recently as a person who loves random encounters. She’s spot on. I like it when things get weird. I try to live by Daughtry’s words, “All that I’m after is a life full of laughter…” There are […]

Blogging & Baring Your Soul

The Universe has a great sense of humor. Facebook is currently offering a cheesy app that allows users to highlight moments of 2014. I tried it out and found that once I got into it, I could not find my way out. Everything froze up. Examining the past does that to a lot of us. […]

The Two Most Beautiful Words I’ve Ever Heard

Latest Facebook meme that makes me wanna hit my head against a wall: “I keep it all inside because I’d rather the pain destroy me than everyone else.” I hate shit like this because it glorifies doing something incredibly unhealthy. It’s like saying, “Hells yes, I want to ensure ongoing depression and anxiety. Furthermore, I’d […]

Listening to the Disease of Addiction

Folks in recovery from addiction sometimes personify their disease. We make reference to what it tells us and describe how it wants us to see things or act upon them. It’s useful to conceptualize addiction this way because while the disease remains within us, it is not a part of the person we are becoming. […]