Overcoming the Fear of Reaching Out in Recovery

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I’ve heard from lots of folks that they don’t really get how the program of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) works. Given how different interactions in AA are (amazingly) from the rest of the world, it’s understandable. People in AA tend to be incredibly genuine, brutally honest and wonderfully supportive. Most earnestly seek to be of service […]

Living Well and Loving Fully

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How many people do you want at your funeral? As I write this I’m sitting in one that required a gymnasium to fit everyone in. This would seem to be one helluva measurement of a life well lived. I knew the man only by reputation. He profoundly influenced the life of someone I dearly love. […]

Dealing with Disappointing Relationships

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We who grow up in unhealthy families tend to have high pain tolerances and low frustration tolerance. The contrast between our ability to endure and our ability to cope is striking. Bones heal. Bruises fade. Hurtful words stay forever. We adjust accordingly. We’re chameleons, but we adapt maladaptively. Children require a sense of control and […]

Thank you, Sen. David Dutremble

Substance abuse and addiction should never be fought alone. I’ve known a lot of folks to have brushes with abstinence and treatment. They see me a few times, hoping to find a way to control their drinking and are disheartened to hear me say that for many of us, there’s just no such thing. It’s […]

When Life Gets too Good

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“Everything passes. Everything changes. Just do what you think you should do.” – Bob Dylan I caught myself being overwhelmed today, which was nice cuz it only took me about 5 minutes to spot it. (It used to be something I would do for weeks on end but I’m getting old and I’m tired). Stop. […]

What’s the Point?

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It’s the worst rhetorical question of them all. It’s an expression of disappointment, disillusionment, and depression. It’s posed to me by folks who are at very low points in their life and I get it – I know first hand how horrible and debilitating depression can be. I also know that to not choose reasons […]

Am I a Bad Person?

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One of the many perils of being a blogger is that programs like WordPress tell you terrible things like how many people read your stuff and how they found you. So you write stuff and you think it’s good and like your mom and a handful of folks read it and you’re like, well, fuck… […]

Therapy without Looking at the Past

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A lot of folks are resistant to therapy because they expect that they’ll be made to discuss the very memories they’ve been trying to forget. They’ll ask me, “What’s the point of looking at the past when you can’t change it?” Rhetorical questions drive me nuts. They’re a passive way of communicating. If one is […]