Why Relationships In Recovery Fail

Recovery has acronyms for everything. Today’s is about relationships in recovery: Really Exciting Love Affair Turns Into Outrageous Nightmare Sobriety Hangs In Peril It’s simple: Infatuation is a better high than most drugs and it’s easy to justify. It just happened! I was in a meeting for all the right reasons. I caught his/her gaze. […]

Denial, Distraction, and Being F.I.N.E.

I’ve always loved the adage, “No matter where you go, there you are.” I’ve learned that I can’t run away from me. I managed for years to flood my life with the needs, wants, and feelings of other people. The goal (though I didn’t realize it at the time) was twofold: – Earn love, worth, […]

Fear is a Four Letter Word

Don’t get ahead of me. I’m not talking about my favorite bit of profanity. It’s the other, “F word.” It’s Fear. Better yet, the two appear in one of my favorite acronyms: F.E.A.R. F@ck Everything And Run – Or – Face Everything And Recover It’s a choice we make to either avoid or invest in […]

Losing a Loved One to Addiction

There are no words to adequately describe the grief of losing a loved one to the disease of addiction. It’s a mix of intense sadness, raging anger, and a kick in the gut feeling of complete powerlessness. My heart goes out to you if you’re still trying to wake up from this nightmare. Addiction is […]

How to be Self Aware & Mindful

I start off every therapy session by asking a simple question that’s hard to answer: How are you? Until they get into a routine with me, folks usually answer without considering: I’m fine. Good. Okay. There’s a clinical term, “Affect incongruent with stated mood.” It means that how you say you’re doing doesn’t match up […]

Why & How I Don’t Drink

The only thing more remarkable to me than having to explain why I don’t drink alcohol is having folks incredulously ask me how I manage not to? Socially it’s not just celebrated, it’s expected. The short answer is that the more secure I am within myself, the less I do things I don’t truly want […]

Just Believe that I Believe

The lessons that were taught to us were not the truth. The truth about us is what good people see when they look into our eyes (this requires we look up from the floor). The truth is that kindred spirits recognize one another and while we may not know the truth about ourselves, it is […]