I hate being a hypocrite. As a therapist and as a coach, I am highly motivated to practice what I preach. Today has been a great day. It’s also been a day in which I bore witness to a lot of suffering and experienced a lot of powerlessness. In today’s video, I’m processing these experiences […]
Most everyone wants to make the world a better place. That’s not hard to do. Simple acts of kindness are all it takes. Current fave FB meme: “Kind is the new cool.” But we live in a world in which hate is thriving. It’s time most of us upped our game. Maybe you’re like I […]
On the door to my office hangs a sign, “98% of my problems would cease to exist if I could stop overthinking and chill the F out.” Over complicating is what we do when we keep coming up with the same answers and hating them. Somewhere between shame and fear is this place where unfamiliar steps seem […]
…I have an unlimited amount of caring about a limited number of things. I took Mark Mason’s advice (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F@ck) long before he wrote it. While I haven’t mastered it, there is a pretty narrow focus in my life: I care an awful lot about people like me and […]
I just left an AA meeting. It never ceases to amaze me how good I feel after attending one. My friends in 12 step fellowships are the most genuine, loving, accepting, and spiritual of people. I have never been more welcomed by any group or organization. Which is especially cool considering that I don’t happen […]
Burnout was something I believed myself immune to. It was for people who weren’t as tough as me, for people who couldn’t work as hard as me, and for people who were weaker than me. Given my mindset, it’s no wonder I burned out repeatedly and that I experienced profound shame each time I was […]
Addiction recovery dictates that the age at which we started drinking and drugging is the age at which we stop maturing emotionally. While many of us grow in all other respects and experience success outwardly, we remain sad and scared children within. What we are less aware of is that childhood experiences of abuse, neglect, […]
There’s a recipe for a healthy relationship that tends to infuriate people in early recovery: “Friendship, courtship, relationship.” This adage advises us not only to go slow but more importantly, to build a solid foundation upon which to relate to one another. It’s very hard and very draining to be a true friend to someone […]
Nearly all of the unhealthy things we do to ourselves in the course of recovery are not consciously chosen. I’ve never thought to myself, “Hey this would be a great day to self-sabotage!” The more we are connected, mindful, and accountable, the more we act from intention and make healthy choices. Complacency is the easiest […]
Procrastination is fear. Avoidance is fear. Overthinking, intellectualization, and excessive analysis are fear. Why is fear the driving force behind so many of our struggles? Well, hiding, numbing, and running from our emotions is the main reason most of us started using in the first place. Fear is the most basic and instinctual of all […]
