Overcoming Self Abuse

Triggers & Truth I don’t understand why I am this way. Do you want to know? Yes. No. I don’t know. I think so. Tell me. No one in your life today abuses you and without that you don’t know how to be so you abuse you. Please consider, who you honor by doing so. […]

The One Drug Problem We Keep Excusing

As an addictions counselor, I’m often asked by laypeople, which drug does the most damage? Folks always seem a little embarrassed and uncomfortable when I tell them the truth: alcohol. They will then explain (despite my not asking) how they drink occasionally but that it’s not a problem. I’m always fascinated by that. If something […]

Why Do We Over Analyze?

“You can analyze the situation. To me, that’s all just mental masturbation.”                   – Sammy Hagar I talk with a lot of folks who describe their brain as something they have no control over. There are many conditions that leave a person feeling this way: addiction, anxiety, ADD, and depression are at the top of that […]

Good News, Nobody Cares!

My wife and I are partners in all things, including domestic duties. I do the things she hates (grocery shopping) and she does the things I hate (laundry). This results in my choosing what we eat and her choosing what I wear. I’m very fortunate to be an old married guy who is WAAAY more […]

I’ll Never Get Addicted

I love getting email from people who read my stuff. This weekend I connected with yet another late 20’s/early 30’s person who has repeatedly suffered the realization, “I’m not a kid anymore. I can’t keep drinking/drugging like this.” Like so many of us, he believed that it would never become a problem and that when […]

Why Todd Parker is a Genius

If you’ve ever picked up a copy of the Maine Edge, you undoubtedly have experienced the genius that is Todd Parker. He’s a modern day Dear Abby with a serious attitude and a razor sharp tongue. What I most appreciate about Todd is that he provides an invaluable service: He tells the truth with all […]

I Just Want to Be Happy

Nearly every person I’ve ever served has expressed the sentiment, “I just want to be happy.” Some speak these words with frustration and others with consternation. The really whiny folks get my ire as I have no tolerance for self pity. Regardless of how it’s said, my most common response is to simply ask, “Ok, […]

Learning How to Let Go

The biggest red flag that my mental health is declining is when I find myself stressed, resentful, or worrying about having enough and being enough. I’ve come a long way with this over the years. These fears used to overshadow my life daily. Today they are rare, episodic, and fleeting. They only occur when I […]

How to be Better Healers & Helpers

I’ve never liked being viewed as an expert but I do enjoy being interviewed by students. To those training in the healing and helping professions, I’m a cool old guy who has been doing this stuff since the nineties, which to most of them was a long ago period involving playgrounds. I got to spend […]