I Just Want to Be Happy

Nearly every person I’ve ever served has expressed the sentiment, “I just want to be happy.” Some speak these words with frustration and others with consternation. The really whiny folks get my ire as I have no tolerance for self pity. Regardless of how it’s said, my most common response is to simply ask, “Ok, […]

Learning How to Let Go

The biggest red flag that my mental health is declining is when I find myself stressed, resentful, or worrying about having enough and being enough. I’ve come a long way with this over the years. These fears used to overshadow my life daily. Today they are rare, episodic, and fleeting. They only occur when I […]

How to be Better Healers & Helpers

I’ve never liked being viewed as an expert but I do enjoy being interviewed by students. To those training in the healing and helping professions, I’m a cool old guy who has been doing this stuff since the nineties, which to most of them was a long ago period involving playgrounds. I got to spend […]

I’m too Old for this #@*&%!

It’s darkly amusing to me that the more screwed up my clients feel, the more likely they are to reference their chronological age. They say the number with a mix of bewilderment and disgust. I hear the Talking Heads singing, “…and you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?” Most of us feel […]

The Best Way to Face Fear

The most dangerous pitfall in any form of recovery is becoming trapped inside our own minds. Not only do we have an uncanny ability to get in our own way, we also at times succumb to the idea that the same mind that created a problem (that may or may not actually exist) will be […]

The Best a Man Can Be

I’ve never liked calling it “Father’s Day.” I’d rather say, “Happy Dad’s Day.” Everyone has a father. Only the lucky ones get to have a “dad.” Whether your children are biological, adopted, kin, or otherwise claimed, if they’re proud to call you dad, then you’re exactly what the world needs more of. More than anything […]

The Quickest Way to Improve Your Mental Health

Living with the belief that we are not “good enough” the single greatest deterrent to good mental health It’s something millions of us learned as children. We internalized a sense of self based on what we were told and how we were treated. We accepted these without questioning, without a filter, without critical thinking skills […]

The Answer to Every Social Problem

The answers are in our neighborhoods, our towns, our churches, our civic organizations and our community centers. Before you think me Polly Anna, read on: I haven’t known neighbors since I was a kid. I’ve always viewed that as something we collectively and tragically lost along the way. For the past year, the familiar strangers […]

Why I Hate it when You Drink

She’s a great friend. She’s one of the smartest, most talented, and loving people I know… …and I don’t ever want to be around her again when she drinks. Lots of folks struggle to address this issue with friends and family. So what follows is what I shared with her: With your permission, I am […]